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Xynesthesia2
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Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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Default May 29, 2019 at 05:23 PM
 
I personally never sought or accepted any kind of guru, the only way I could see young myself getting enmeshed would be a romantic affair and perhaps mixed with some work collaboration. I did that several times in my youth with teachers/mentors and all of them were decent people and good relationships, no harm whatsoever and quite a bit of mutual gain. We treated each-other as equals. With a narcissistic/guru-like therapist it would never last long though, I disliked those kinds of people even when I was very young, so I can't see myself with someone like Ike... my "weakness" used to be smart, accomplished, creative and often quite enigmatic people. But with decent morals. Usually with quite some similar personality traits and interests to myself, which typically comes with a need for independence and not desiring authorities/followers/dependency, more equal but sufficiently autonomous collaborators, friends, advisors, mentees etc. I can imagine mistaking the enigmatic nature of an introverted, somewhat eccentric creative person with unique charisma who is not averse to risks with a paranoid, secretive, purposefully manipulative and only superficially accomplished person who would take unethical risks but no responsibility, for a while when I was very young though. I definitely had an issue with sometimes confusing/separating my professional and romantic interests when I was younger and needed quite a few rounds of trial and error to learn to identify these different things. I imagine someone who has people-pleasing, serving tendencies and a strong desire to join/belong to some powerful bigger structure can end up in a version of that confusion as well quite easily. We definitely bring these patterns from early life and it usually takes quite some experience to change them, if ever.
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Thanks for this!
missbella