I saw Office Space a long time ago, but only really remember the guy with the stapler. Anyway, what came to my mind was to suggest that you ask for set "check in times". IOW, no other times, unless there is a real urgent issue. Perhaps if your wife needs many check-in times, you could consider requesting that you initiate the reports of how you are doing rather than giving her the chance to ask that dreaded question that's irking you.

I do hope that your job together ends at a certain time of day. I think it can be bad when works bleeds into home life. I think strict limits are good in cases where you work with an SO, or anyone really close to you. Even a friend.

I adore my husband of 21+ years, but when we have to cooperate on projects we've also had some friction build. Time has helped both of us learn how to cope with the friction. We've both become more tolerant of it, too. Some things, however, we just have to do one our own. There are clearly things that my husband excels at that I don't, and vice versa. And yet, the other may still have opinions on performance. Sometimes, checking in about certain things is a bad idea. As long as a task gets down and is effective, it may be good that the other person stays out of it completely.

Is there any room in what you are doing (or could be doing) for creativity and extra initiative? That may help you enjoy the tasks a little more.