I feel so frustrated that my efforts seem to be getting defeated. Outcomes can't be controlled. They have to be accepted and adjusted to.

He has been sleeping all through the evening news, which is very unusual. I could really have used the company of him being awake. He is not well today.

I don't know what I'll make him for dinner. There is enough food on hand. I really want to run away from everything. I'm just a bad wreck at the moment.

I tell myself a spell like this blows over. The trouble is this one is way worse than the last few. I come out of them and do well for a couple days, but not long enough to really get on my feet. It is not worth living being like this.

So I woke him up and now he's cursing at me. We are 2 people in trouble.