A lot of people have very Type A personalities. I think people like them have one way of treating other people. They don't try to change unless they're forced to.

I have found that getting assertive (but not rude) is a good way of dealing with them. I was friends with someone who was very arrogant and patronizing to me. At first, I tried to be reasonable and discuss it with him like mature adults, but he persisted in his undesirable behavior and I ended the friendship. I set a limit on what I was willing to tolerate. My situation was kind of extreme, but I think setting a firm boundary is always helpful. If people think they can walk all over you, they will.

I think you should talk to them and say "Listen, I'm 48 years old and we are equals. You need to respect me" . You can rephrase it to how you would say it.

I wish you lots of luck. You're a lovely person and you deserve to have great friends who respect and love you.