it will be hard, but don't answer the phone. they are grown ups..if it is an emergency on their side they can figure stuff out on their end. let them leave a message. they may think they will die if you don't call back right away but you know they won't. when you do call (in a few days) say, oh a bunch of us decided to visit ______. we chipped in for a room, or stayed at _______'s house, was having fun, just was so busy didn't have time to call. fudge it. tell them you are staying out late at night (but then don't be on facebook etc if they can see your posts)…

go out..create a life..even if it's something small but start doing stuff to break the cycle of you being hom e for their call. if you do that then it won't seem like such a thing. will they be unhappy? yea but they live to see another day. they are still going to call but you have to "train" them to space their calls out.

as for them staying over...it's hard to differentiate between what is convenient between what's good for you & them. how many times did you invite them over? 1, 5, 10? mom liked that. now you are getting older & maybe she is feeling like she is losing her sense of control and sense of worth. you were her life when you were young. now you are older and don't need them so much.

maybe say to them, look mom i have something i would like to do with you on june 21 can you help me? but i am really busy with work & stuff until then. i can't have you over until then. set limits. let her know she is welcome but within guidelines.

try that