i have such mixed feelings about reading your response, because on the one hand, i'm quite envious of those who've had the wherewithal or 'luck of the draw' to never have to experience the powerlessness, shame, fear and overall mind Fck experience of being enmeshed with someone, like i was with my ex-T for many years. i don't think i would ever wish this experience upon my worst enemy. but on the other hand, i now can look at this from a new perspective and have reached the point where i understand and embrace just how empowering and healing that this sh*%ty experince has been overall for me . as difficult as it was, there is no denying that this experince has been one of the main catalyst to my change and personal growth to a more fulfilling life. fortunately, on most days, i can honestly say that i'm quite content with this...it is what it is.