Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
How did this get resolved for you? It feels like an impasse for me. I completely understand all the logical reasons for accepting that he isn’t going to respond, but I’m just angry about it anyway. His reasons all seem like lame excuses. He’s just taking the easy way out. I see him again in less than 4 hours and I’m up in the middle of the night stewing about this. I wish I had more time before our next appointment to calm down about this because right now I’m just livid and I don’t see how I’m ever going to feel ok about this. And on top of everything I told him I wasn’t going to email him any more (so I won’t) which feels like taking away one of the tools in my toolbox.
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My need faded when my dependency on him faded. What he did/didn't do didn't have as much power over me anymore. So it just happened organically through the therapy work. This was a result, I believe, of his being a separate person from from me, not engaging in my patterns. Like your T is doing.
Maybe it would help to read about people pleasing, as that is a form of dependency on others.. He's not playing into your pattern-he's being a separate person from you.
Your anger is understandable. I think its easier for your T to just respond to your emails than to handle your anger and help you resolve your dependency. He's helping you grow, rather than appease you, which I think is loving.
Like a parent who doesn't just give her kid candy because the child is crying about it, going on and on about it, bugging Mom.
I think when you access the feelings under the anger, it will make more sense. You still have not accessed those feelings.