It was my grandmother. I actually mentioned it to one of my pdocs, and she said to be optimistic. I mentioned it to a family friend, and she was also practical but optimistic about it. It's just that my grandmother has a way of crushing my dreams and goals. I try not to let her get to me anymore, but that doesn't work all the time. I think she means well when she offers her opinion, but boy-oh-boy do I feel hopeless afterwards.

Yup...I absolutely understand thinking yourself into a corner. I seem to be a pro at that haha! I would like to start thinking of myself that way. I've made some progress over these last few months to start thinking of myself as simply a person with strengths and needs just like everyone else. But I do tend to fall back into thinking of myself negatively. I think that happens especially when I desire to reach a goal or dare to dream anything. I quit before I start because I can't even see the point of trying. I'm trying to learn to think of failure in terms of I just learned what not to do...I didn't fail.

You're absolutely right about moving. I would definitely need to plan and have those coping strategies. I don't know. Maybe I'm aiming too high? But I can't help but think that this is not an impossible thing here. My pdoc told me to be optimistic about it, and she said that support should be available in the new city. I talk to a therapist. That's a really good idea about baby steps towards meeting goals. I've met quite a few this past year already.

Thank you for your support!

Thank you so much for your encouragement! I'm working on believing that I DO have value.