Thanks for posting this.
For many years I attached very strongly to women needing to make up for what my mom could never be. Then there were some really bad experiences and I didn’t really attach. Now I am with Awesome T and we are working to identify support people both past and present. We have both been surprized that every single one I have brought up so far are men... men who meant the world to me even though I couldn’t get close to them or have any kind of relationship with them.
I attached to people who could see me enough that I felt loved (like knowing what I would want for dinner on my birthday) but not so much that I felt vulnerable.