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Originally Posted by Lrad123
Well I just got mad at him for the first time. I’ve just left his office, so I’m still processing it all.
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Might be a good thing to finally be angry with him.
People who had trauma try to control their environment/people, though normally out of awareness. Your T does not engage with you, so it makes sense you may be taking actions, such as stopping the emails, to try to regain control.
Just about anyone gets very angry when the other does not engage in their patterns, so your T is probably expecting you to be angry. The thing is, people don't change if they are able to control the environment. When the environment refuses to cooperate, a person has no choice but to change (or to quit therapy).
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He was completely accepting and welcoming of my anger and talked about how not being acknowledged sucks and how I’ve experienced that in my childhood where I was basically seen as an extension of my parents and was expected to fulfill their wishes (not because they were bad people, but perhaps because they didn’t know any better)
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This ^ is probably what the email issue is really about all this time? So it seems like you are connecting with that aspect of your past as those types of things are underneath the anger.
Hope the anger energy takes you to a better place. Hopefully letting out some steam will vent some of the frustration that's been building. Take care.