Thanks for the comments so far. Much like you with your mom, SK, I feel closer to my dad now than when I was younger. Like he's much more free with the "I love you's." One thing that sticks in my mind regarding him is, when I was having lots of anxiety issues at around age 12, which were upsetting my mom, that he loved my mom a little more than me. Which felt like, if I had mental illness, I was less loveable. Like it felt that he didn't have compassion for me struggling with it, but for my mom, who had to deal with me. So I think part of the attaching to male T's who are also fathers (ex-MC and T) is like, well, they'd have understood my anxiety and OCD issues. They wouldn't have rejected me or loved me less for it.

ETA: Ex-MC talking about how he helped his daughter and later his son with their anxiety issues only contributed to this...T hasn't talked much about his son, but he's talked about how he feels parents should ideally be (which he's said doesn't mean he's that way).