I came in annoyed, that bit wasn't you. I told you just how triggered I was over the weekend and we dived straight into parts work. Looking back, was that the best decision. You stood your ground as I repeatly marked how annoyed I was over and over. I think I knew then I was being pushed too far, but I think I like it, kinda egg it on? It was defiantly that final bit though, I defiantly did not know we would go there and that was the final nail. I asked you to stop, but you always need to get one last word or sentence in. That is defiantly on you. I want to mention that because maybe i tell you to stop too late, but when i do you don't. It wasn't just one last thing but two last things. I was out of it and heavily in distress saying you feel sorry for the 'little girl' only triggers that. I really don't get your need to continue. You asked me if I was going to be safe. I hate that. I hate that so much. What does that even mean??? I couldn't talk and so it was a meaningless question. Eventually I answered. But too be honest I kinda of resent then sentiment.

You left the room and gave me space to calm down. I needed that even though it makes me sad. I feel vulnerable getting up from my seat and can only move once you have gone. You left the room and waited for me down stairs. I almost forgot to pay... I think thats the first time I have forgot. I managed to switch into something. I can't remember who.

I know last time you said you thought about me after that happened. I kinda wanna tell you I am OK. Just so you know and don't worry about me. I also know you are away for a week and I don't want that to get in the way.