Oh my dear. I'm so sorry thisis such a tough time for you. It can be a HUGE adjustment, being married -- no matter how much you adore each other. I hope you feel free to seek another therapist if the current one is not helpful. I understand about the "withdrawing" behaviour, as that is my response as well when I'm overwhelmed -- and it's often the LEAST helpful thing possible, but it's my instinctive reaction to heavy-feeling conflict. Sounds like your "fighting styles" are very mis-matched. My Fiance' and I had to back up and set some ground rules for our issues: !. No name calling or disparaging. 2. No throwing things or stomping out. 3 No withdrawing until some kind of resolution is achieved. .ABOVE ALL: DON'T lose sight of the objective, which is a correction of the problem, NOT to "punish" the other party.
Sigh. This is a rough patch, for sure. Be assured that every couple has them, in one form or another.
I'll be thinking of you. Sending good thoughts,

xo
Chyia