I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something like this. I feel you 100% since my wife and I are going through something similar. Ever since I found out she had an affair behind my back earlier this year it has been fight after fight after fight and it's so stressful at home and at work since we work in the same office. We have talked about divorce many times but neither of us has followed through with leaving... yet. We are trying to work things out but tbh, I'm not 100% sure I can move past the betrayal and the disrespect, but that's a different story all together. We have agreed on marriage counseling and even though she was a little apprehensive about it I told her this was one way we are going to save the marriage, or at least try to save the marriage. Like someone said before, try to bring up the option of counseling in a none fighting manner and tell him that you would really like to and think it could help with the marriage. It doesn't have to be long term but it helps to have a third person who is neutral party in the matter.

I found this good relationship counselor on the internet who has a web page I've skimmed and even sent to my wife named Brad Browning. His website is mendingthemarriage.com (hopefully I didn't break any rules giving that out). Another thing that my therapist gave me was something called fair fighting communication. It sounds harsh but it gives you steps/ideas on how to communicate without it turning into a fight. She told me that you don't need to incorportate all of them at once but try one and stick to it before you add a second or a third one.

I wish I could offer better advice but while you're going through all this try to remember/focus on your good times. I try to remind myself that this too shall pass and if both partners put in effort to fix it then it will work out in the end.