Hello Steffy: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.  I'm sorry you have encountered so much difficulty.  Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. 
One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the relationships forum. Here's a link:
https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/
And then here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of bipolar disorder:
Bipolar Disorder: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central
Small Things I Do Every Day to Manage My Bipolar Disorder
The 4 Keys to Managing Bipolar Disorder
10 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Bipolar Disorder
https://psychcentral.com/blog/bipola...self-loathing/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-bi...olar-disorder/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/top-te...dium=popular17
I hope you find PC to be of benefit. 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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