Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I am not all that keen on blaming parents for everything. I think even the most well intentioned parents get things wrong. My own parents were incredibly well intentioned. But one parent at least was completely mis-matched with me. I don't see, for me, what the point would have been in blaming her for anything. (the therapists disagreed with me and constantly used overly emotional/hysterical language to describe things - but even had I agreed with them - I still don't know what difference it would have made)
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I agree with this 100%.
Nearly a decade of exploring all the ways I had been victimized by my family gave me a ‘poor me’ mentality and a very depressing outlook on my life. All the while my ‘perfect’, ‘good-enough mother’ therapist positioned herself as the emotional salve to all of my childhood wounds.
The biggest game changers in my life (learned post therapy) were discovering my own resiliency, learning to respect myself/holding my own boundaries, and practicing self-care. None of these things had anything to do with excavating my childhood or blaming my parents.