I count myself in the group of childhood neglect style of trauma (PTSD?).

As I have also posted, I don't see it as much as blaming my parents as honoring myself and what I experienced. When I talk in terms of my childhood from the perspective of that child, I am able to give voice to what that child felt with complete disregard as to the other people involved. I am able to explore those feelings - and in a way, I'm finally able to say that this was "unfair". Sure, life isn't fair, being able to say x or y was unfair, hurtful, ... or what not and having someone to listen without judging those feelings or thoughts has been helpful for me. Primarily, it has helped me not feel so horrible or selfish for having the feelings/thoughts in the first place. There's been comfort in being heard and being reassured that it wasn't that child's fault that whatever happened. Also, within my therapy, there has been a layer of re-parenting going on around elements of emotional development that are typically implicitly learnt through those attuned moments.

I don't know, maybe I'm not saying it very well. I just don't see myself a victim or have a 'poor me' mentality; even though, I have now been able to voice the ways I have always felt my parents failed in their jobs as being my parents. And maybe that's where the relief is coming from being able to state these thoughts/feelings about people I love and who truly did the best they could, most the time, with what they had, and did/do love me; without hurting them or doing harm to our current relationship.

Sure there are things they could have done better, there are things they still could do that would be more in tune with what I need from them. It is my hope in working through the barriers that my childhood created in me, I will get to a place where I will be able to discuss those issues that cause struggles in the adult level relationship I have with each of my parents. There maybe some value in bringing up some things from my childhood; I do not think there will be much and doubt I'll bring up anything. I think it's more important to work through everything so that they can in essence have a clean slate within our relationship and I can begin to talk to them one adult to another [on triggering topics] rather than still at some level seeing them as my parents and me the unwanted/no longer wanted/invisible child.

ETA: the dynamic of the unwanted/no longer wanted/invisible child plays out for me in other relationships/interactions when a triggering event happens, so getting to where the events of the past are the past and not the present will hopefully change this pattern in me. In this article: Why there's no need to relive the trauma all over again they talked about how processing through "trauma events" helps move the memory from the amygdala to the neocortex so that the brain can start to see the event as part of one's past and not something occurring in the here and now. Those moments with my parents that left me feeling unwanted/no longer wanted/invisible child are my "trauma events" - they are the events that have stuck with me and get evoked in the now as if I was still that child and I respond equivalently, as I did when I was that child.