Oh dear Sisabel. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You gave your daughter a most precious thing in life that a mother can give to their child: love and attention. No mother is perfect. My own mother gave me a LOT in life, yet I see her flaws and mistakes too. I am so sorry you are feeling so low. I don't think it's fair or right what your daughter and her husband are expecting of you. These rules also seem very rigid and unfair. I don't blame you for how you feel you want to spend your own money. That's your prerogative. Honestly, she sounds demanding of you and unappreciative, if I may say so. I am very sorry for your heavy heart today. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself a big hug and a healthy dose of self-compassion. You are a very good and caring person.