Hi Sisabel. I am sorry your heart is heavy. Personally, I think your splurging sounds wonderful! You earned it. You aren't taking someone else's money. Why shouldn't you buy yourself nice things?


Okay, even if there were problems in your history with your daughter that is NO excuse for demanding gifts or eye-rolling when a lovely cake is offered. if someone made me a homemade cake I would feel honored!


Your daughter is over 18, right? You may not agree but in my view you do not owe her anything now that she's an adult. At this point, time or gifts may be offered but that is entirely up to the one who offers. And this should be met with good manners at the very least.


I don't know if this helps but you have my support. Unchecked guilt can be like a weight around one's spirit. I struggle with too much guilt myself. I believe there are ways to change that though.


Give yourself a break, will you? The past is the past. That's where it is going to stay no matter what. Past hurts do not authorize someone to torment another person in the present. I do not have a good relationship with my mother but I want her to have peace and joy. I've no desire to punish or embarrass her....that's just not okay. Keep looking after yourself. Imagine a bright future.