Thank you for your quick reply. I appreciate it.
I keep thinking of the movie A Beautiful Mind.
Russel Crow's character had the very same illness,but he had it even worse than I did, but he led a productive life despite it all and had a family.
He was an amazing man, but I keep thinking, if he can do it why can't I?


I'm just now beginning my journey, it's been a long one tho, but I'm finally on the path of light not darkness. I want this path to continue. It's why I'm here, asking you for any tips or insight you might have. I came close to death, I had the means and the will, and was saved by blind chance, my mom so I've had my Jesus moment.

For whatever reason God if he exists decided he wasn't done with me yet, for whatever reason. I'm thankful for his mercy, and I won't waste this new lease on life.For all the darkness I typed, I need to do light so if I ever face him, it won't be crawling on my belly in shame. I found my purpose in the midst of all of all this hell though. Odd how life works.

I go from nearly offing myself one moment, to being saved by blind chance, now have a real plan on doing some good in this world and with my life which was lived selfishly for a long time once I lost my purpose. I intend to walk the path of light tho this time. I've spent too long in darkness.


I've lived a selfish existence for far too long, I need to make amends for it. I will do some good in this world god willing.
Let my story be an example, that just because we have this illness we shouldn't let it define us, or beat us. I won't.


I hope the rest of you don't either. Even someone as flawed as me has a real chance to do good in this world. I'm thankful for the chance, and I intend to make it more than a chance. I've begun the first step on a long journey, but it's a path in the light, not darkness.
I have much to make amends for, but I intend to.