This is an issue for me and like many in this thread, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of "blame"... My thought is to compare it with people who are unable to give their kids the basics for more practical reasons, like money. Some parents have to work long hours so they can't spend time with their children, some parents can't always pay for good food so their children get undernourished. The parents are doing their best and it's not their fault but the children experience the lack anyway. My parents were somewhat the same, they just lacked other kinds of resources (well, sometimes money, too). Not necessarily their fault and maybe it couldn't be helped, but it had an effect and still does, and pretending it didn't happen won't change things for the better.