At 30 your daughter has her own lessons to learn - give her time and limits to get there! That's what a boss once told me about an obnoxious, young, very attractive colleague: give it enough time and things turn around. Easier said that done.

At 60 I am learning also! I get hit by unfathomable anxiety attacks when I try to change life-long behaviours. Nothing conscious but something from the deeper nervous system. It takes an extreme amount of self-compassion and external support to get through them - but no way am I going to die still limited by that stuff.

So I think it might be expected that you will feel an inner backlash after splurging, or even feel sad that what you want is love and kindness not material things. Your anger is a signal that something needs to be done, but - I spent all yesterday feeling anxious because someone had gone out of their way to help me - "why are I not getting things done, why am I so anxious" - but the feeling was so strong that I had to accept and ride it out.

Hugs your way Sisabel. There are tough periods in life, and then later you will find that it was worth the work.