where it is getting time to have to tell t that i am spiraling downward and getting really fatalistic in my thinking... but i don't wanna. i don't want things to get all serious and stuff. i know i'm supposed to but i've stopped caring, really. i just want to push the stop button or the pause button and take a break from life so i can rest some. i don't want to do the deeper work that might supposedly free me from this cycle. i'm not sure i believe it exists any more. come to think of it, MD is the only person i've ever met IRL that made it - that broke the cycle and got out and is living the life she loves. mind you, she's out of the country at the mo. poop on all of it. i just don't care. i know this is cyclical... but i don't care.
what the heck do i tell t?
see ya?
adios?
sinara?
tschuss?
tell t i'm going into hibernation until this passes?