Thanks for sharing your struggle.
I don't know as there is much of anything I can offer here. But I noticed you had yet to receive a rely to your post. So I thought I would be the first.
Anxiety over being in social situations has been a problem for me over the years... decades really. Unfortunately I can't say as I found any particularly creative solutions to the problem. (Nowadays I'm pretty thoroughly reclusive. But that's by choice.) What I did over the years was simply to go ahead & do whatever there was that was available to do. In other words, I just gutted it out, so to speak. It was tough sometimes. But, over time, I think it did help.
Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that offers socializations tips for people with social anxiety:
9 Socialization Tips for People with Social Anxiety