It is easier said than done.

It sounds like she is guilt tripping you and making herself look like the victim. She is definitely manipulating the situation.

You are taking a great step by recognizing her toxic behavior and not falling for it. When people did this to me, I practiced self-compassion. I tell myself that she is to be pitied because she'd rather live a life where she manipulates people into talking to her. I tell myself "it's good that you are not like her, and you are living a better life" .

I hope you can find peace.