I'm noticing a pattern in my life:

Some people who respect others treat me rudely once they get used to me.

Of course, there are people who are respectful towards everyone including me. But those are acquaintances or causal friends.

But the ones that get close to me always show this pattern.

It makes me not want to be myself anymore. It makes me want to become who I am not:

An uptight person who is too intimidating to mess with.

It makes me not want to be so friendly and so easy-going with people anymore, because once they get close to me, they will walk all over me.


I don't even want to give anyone a genuine smile anymore or even use causal words like "Hi" or "Hey!" that let's them know my guards are down.

I want to just give a polite fake smile and say "Hello," like I am so formal and inaccessible.

I've really had it recently with a new friend bullying me again, making a critical comment over a very trivial matter, when I wasn't even talking to her. And she was so respectful towards all the "elites" at the social gathering.