I wonder what would happen if you invited your wife to sit down with you and watch this Ted Talk? The presenter is a woman who helps couples to maintain sexuality and intimacy in their marriages. She makes some excellent points and suggestions. I have a hunch that if your wife is willing to sit and watch the whole thing with you, a light may go on in her mind about how problematic it is to marry someone and deny them sex. Though it's not a negative or unpleasant Ted Talk by any means. I highly recommend it.

The sex-starved marriage | Michele Weiner-Davis | TEDxCU