I also want to say that what your wife is doing is untenable. The only way in which this would be reasonable is if, when you asked her to marry you, she said something like "Yes I will marry you but I need our marriage to be sexless. I don't like sex and don't want it to be part of my life." And then you agreed to that because you didn't want sex either. That obviously is not the case.

She did not say that. And she married someone who enjoys sex therefore something needs to change here. I don't think she's being honest with you or with herself about the zero sex. All I can do is speculate that she either was victimized sexually in her past so now sex is traumatic for her or she has zero sexual desire or she is having sex with someone else. I have no idea. I don't know her but this is a serious problem. Her refusal to discuss it is very disrespectful to you.

Either way, she needs to take ownership for her decisions as an adult who married a sexual partner. I think you may have posted about the sexual issue before? Do I have that right? I think you need to be more candid and proactive at this point. Something like: "I love you. And I am a sexual person therefore I want to share my sexuality with you. For me, marriage involves a sexual relationship. You did not tell me in advance that our marriage would be sexless. You did not ask if I was willing to have a sexless marriage. That is not okay. I don't know what the reason is because you will not tell me. I feel lonely and disconnected from you. It's time to stop making excuses and have an honest and open conversation about why you do not want sex. I am not willing to be in a sexless marriage for the rest of my life. This is not okay so we need to figure out our options here."

So sorry you are going through this. I think it is time to be proactive. Your present does not have to be your future