Are you able to attend the actual wedding or is that also tricky due to finances? If you can go to the wedding, you could just skip the bachelorette party and explain that you can't afford it. These things tend to get blown out of proportion. Money doesn't grow on trees and friendship isn't really about parties in Cali, right? A good friend would understand if you cannot afford to attend. Do what works for you and hopefully you can attend the wedding.