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Old Jun 02, 2019, 08:14 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,238
Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie View Post
She approached me at work and "let's eat lunch together" turned into her oversharing to me about her personal problems. This oversharing/ buying my sympathy kind of people keep approaching me, and this is why I feel the need to appear less approachable.
Approaching you at work and eating lunch together in no shape or form puts coworkers in “friends” category. That’s what I am trying to say.

Perhaps this person is lonely, lonely people do tend to overshare. If you don’t want her to overshare, keep your distance next time. I don’t think you need to be less approachable. Just avoid “intimate” situations with these people.

I have someone at work who tried to tell me details of her terrible marriage. It’s uncomfortable. I don’t stop being friendly with her but I don’t do one-on-one things with her. We aren’t friends. I don’t go out to eat with her.

What I fail to understand is why and how someone you ate lunch once became your friend. I wonder if these people take advantage of you because they sense you place them into close friends category very soon after meeting them and before you even know them well.
Thanks for this!
Bill3