I've dragged out starting EMDR for as long as I possibly could. The growing up with multiple schizophrenics, I have a very complex psychiatric history. Post-partum psychosis, DID with a psychotic part, bipolar 1 disorder with psychosis, OCD, PTSD with psychosis. I'm integrated now. We completed integration 5 years ago and the quality of my life improved incredibly. I still have residual trauma to resolve, hence the EMDR. I know what I went through to integrate. I can deal with the PTSD episodes with medication and soothing techniques. I really, really don't want to go digging around all those old traumas. My therapist, who I trust completely, says this is a good treatment for me. My psychiatrist, who has literally saved my life on more occasions than I can count and kept me from being permanently institutionalized, is neutral. Maybe I'm just trauma work weary. Nothing is going to resolve the kind of life experiences I have had. I just want some peace. At some point I have to give my therapist an answer. I just don't know what that answer should be