I'm sorry to hear this. Unfortonently there are a lot of people out there that you just can't win with. More, unfortunately, that is often family. People deserve to be happy. That is something I believe in full heartedly. If that's going to Oxford to get your Masters degree, I say go for it. If it can't be right now because you can't afford it wait and go back in a few years. My boyfriend's dad didn't get a degree and his dream job until he was in his late 40's. People do things at different paces and that is okay. However, You can't take back what is already done. If the application fees have already been paid, I say keep trying to figure out a solution until it's time to make a concrete decision as to whether you are going to Oxford or wait. Keep applying to scholarships. If the school you got your degree from doesn't offer career counseling, see if Oxford does or visit the financial office. I am a little bit confused with how you said in a reply that you were born here but are an international student? I would think there would be government financial aid if you were born here. You may actually be able to find a job with a mental health degree that will pay for you to return for your Masters. I would maybe look into government jobs. I wish I knew more about this to offer more advice. You may be able to look up a career counselor online that would offer advice.

Now for the more important stuff. Don't sell yourself short. Graduating with honors is an AMAZING triumph. Not a lot of people can accomplish this and you should be proud of yourself. I do not know you and I'm proud of you. Don't give up on yourself. Going after your dreams does not mean you should be yelled at, belittled or bullied. Sadly, siblings are not always the most supportive people. Siblings are often your best friends and biggest critiques all in one. I am sure neither want you to die. You did not bring this on yourself and it sounds like you are a great daughter. You tried to find a solution yourself and tried to avoid making it their problem. You continue to work to figure out a solution. That's more than a lot of people can say. It sounds like your parents are proud of you. I would try sitting down and talking to them away from your siblings. Try letting them know how you feel and that you don't want to be a burden. You may be able to find a better solution by working together than being torn apart by your siblings. Remember YOU ARE DOING GOOD. You are trying to figure it out like everyone else and will figure it out. Even if you can't go to Oxford now, it isn't giving up in your dreams. It's just a detour in them. BE SAFE. Reach out to help if you need to. Your mental state is important. Take care of it. Letting your mental state deteriorate is going to make figuring things out harder. Talk to someone if you need to. Whether it is a family member, a friend, a therapist or a stranger. I just joined this group but so far everyone seems so loving and kind. I am blown away by the love shown through this forum. You are cared about.