This article is relevant to an experience I had with a new friend who was a no-show on a coffee date that HE initiated with me. We'd previously met with no problems to go to the movies two times. But yesterday, he was a no show. There was no confirmation from him the day before or the morning of our coffee date that he was still coming (red flag #1). And after he didn't show, I texted how his behavior made me feel like he doesn't respect me, and how I felt it was rude for him to just not show up without notifying me he wouldn't be there.

His response was #5 to gaslight me and try to make me feel guilty, by writing via text, "I think you are overreacting." He also refused to take responsibility for socially rejecting me, or, #8, from the article, which is what a no-show does, because it's RUDE to just not show up for someone you supposedly respect, by also writing in his text to me, "it's your prerogative not to be friends with me but no one else is bothered by my no-showing as much as you are." That last bit he wrote, is very black and white, or #13, via the article. He's unable to see that despite being a 50 year old man, other people have different perspectives than his perspective. He assumes that it's ok to just no-show on anyone, no matter who it is, and he's very set in his ways.

I also told him I couldn't justify keeping him as a Facebook friend after the way he just blew me off and didn't even bother respecting me enough to text me that he wasn't coming (he wrote a bunch of lame excuses for why he didn't show up: he forgot, his stomach hurt, he was hung over, his mom came over, he has errands to run) to the coffee date that HE initiated with me in the first place. Sorry, but you don't no-show on someone whom you remotely respect.

The fallout was that I lost the new friendship with the mutual female friend who I really liked, because she told me I was dramatic and that I had a lot of problems she didn't want to deal with; that she felt I was too hard on him and had unrealistic expectations (which I disagree with, b/c I don't just no-show on anyone, ever).

I was raised to always respect people's time, and if I didn't want to hang out with them, or couldn't for illness or other reasons (like dealing with my mother's new dementia diagnosis), that I need to communicate ahead of time, or on the day of plans, to tell that person how sorry I am to have to cancel our plans and reschedule them. That shows I'm being considerate to their feelings and respectful of their time. The fact that this 50 year guy refused to do that with me, shows me how unreliable he would be as al long-term friend; someone whom I would never make plans to hang out alone with, b/c he'd just not show up and not tell me either. Why should I waste my time, hanging on to people like this guy? No thanks. Not worth my time. He's definitely an immature adult if he is going to act entitled as though his no-showing is never going to change.

What is wrong with some people?!? I have just as much stress in my life than he does, but I still showed up for coffee. I'm so angry. Can anyone relate?