Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. I understand what you're trying to say. I need to feel good about myself before I can make others feel good but I don't really know where to start. I go to the gym, I'm decently attractive, I'm educated, I try new and spontaneous things whenever I can, and I'm taking steps to bettering my life such as going back to school to do a career change. I don't spend my dates whining and complaining about my life, or putting myself down because if somebody did that on a date with me I probably wouldn't wanna go home with them either. They usually start off well. We tell each other funny stories, do something fun together, maybe even get to the point of kissing and cuddling on a park bench. Eventually, the voice in my mind will tell me things like "you're gonna screw this up, he's way out of your league, you're not funny or interesting, baseline you're trash." It gets louder, then I feel the anxiety bubbling up, and I become very introverted. I need to find the point when this shift happens, so that I can prevent it. Any tips on getting that douchebag in my head to shut up?