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Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254
knowing people will either never share my interests or try to suck me into a vortex of leaky boundaries and attempts to change who I am to please the crowd.
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I love this. I know its not what you were going for but its very poignant.
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When I transition to the real world I’m not going to make anymore friendships and never pursue romance because I’ve crossed the line with too many mistakes and the people who seem to genuinely care actually genuinely want to devour me. It’s all my fault that I did not handle previous friendships and the trials they had to bring better and I probably will just have to find a way to live with it.
Am I a bad person? Am I too much of a monster to share connections with other people? What’s the point of having friends and relationships anyway?
No medical labels please. But support is accepted with open arms 
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I do not want you to feel this way. And I wont BS you with the rainbows and unicorns crap that hallmark cards are written about. Do you have even one good-you-can-count-on friend? Sometimes we need to have developed that one relationship in order to form other ones. I dont know about you but I do not count family as friends. I am very close with mine and they are mostly good and would do anything for me but they are not the same as friends. My mother always said you could count on one hand the good friends you have as an adult. In that case I would say I have three. My ultimate BFF who was there for the birth of my daughter and is getting married in July- my neighbor and my sponsor. Maybe one other fairweather friend. And my husband. I cant advise on romance because I know I am very fortunate and do not know the first thing about dating since I have been married since I was 20. I'd like to think you should be friends first, that is how it was with us. We talked until the birds came out but the same thing has happened with my best friend so maybe thats a crumby example. I guess just do your best to remain open-not to abuse or narcissists but just generally open to new experiences. You are right about friendships being like fishing sometimes. You can work hard at being a great friend to the ones you have and maybe that will open some doors for you. There is always therapy but I would say in many experiences that is hit or miss. I reached my therapy max and personally have had enough of it. And screw the selfies. I do not send them to my friends unless I am in one with them.
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"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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