I'm so sorry you've been through ALL OF THIS, panda165! It must have been very hard for you! Can I ask you how old are you exactly? From what you wrote it seems like you''re a teenages. is that correct or am i wrong? Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and new ways to cope with your feelings! I feel like that may REALLY help you! Please do consider it if you can! Remember that we're here to support you! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Keep us updated on your situation! Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to! I CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK! LET US KNOW HOW THINGS ARE GOING FOR YOU BECAUSE WE DO CARE! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many kind, safe, sweet, warm and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU, PANDA165, JUST LIKE YOU ARE! PLEASE BELIEVE THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN AND PLEASE REMEMBER THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND YOU KNOW THAT EVEN IT'S DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE!