I was in the same place, and the "relationship" eventually became destructive.

For me the terrible part was developing strong feelings in the context of a dead-end, one-way, artificial relationship where the feelings would be objectified and commodified.

The amazing part was the euphoria from being in an addictive fantasy-based relationship.

Also consider the trap you are in. If you confess how you feel, you might be pathologized or humiliated. Maybe even terminated. If you don't confess, you are keeping a big secret.

I would urge caution re: drinking the transference kool-aid.