The pattern I tend to fall into mimics my dad's body language and attitude when he was interacting with my mom. Exasperated, overwhelmed, never had his own opinion, anxious. He was never mean but also never seemed relaxed or happy around her. His communication was along the lines of "ok, fine. I dont care, whatever you want." He would relax and be happy when he was out around friends but at home, he seemed miserable. This is similar to the way I behave.

I have been seeing a therapist for a few months. She has been disproportionately focused (in my opinion) on my drinking. I agree that I should cut back or quit drinking and it is not helping my depression but it would hardly solve my issues. I'm looking forward to getting into more discussion about my relationship.