Thank you for posting ikakhoirina. I once took some notes of dealing with anger healthily. I was being treated badly and felt violated at that time.


Anger is feeling, emotionally charged, out of control because of shame, violation or fear. It is a symptomatic emotion.

Notice your anger. Is it aggressive or passive? Am I imploding? Or do I feel indifferent to my anger?

Accept your anger.

Don’t deny it or it will grow becoming unhealthy.

Don’t dwell on it, experience it via dissociation.

Feel it, experience it and what drives it.

We are all kids in adult bodies.

Nurture your inner child!

Rescue your inner child by thinking or doing what you enjoyed as a child. What food did you like?

Help yourself through your childhood problems. What would I say to her? Don’t reject her or make her a victim.

Create life experiences in a healthy way.

Deal with the shame, fear or violation.

Create positive affirmations. “I will not be violated again. I will look after and nurture myself. I will surround myself with good people. I care about me.”

Anger leaves us feeling we are not enough to control a situation.

Go from lack of control to taking control.

Address any shame, fear, lack of control and violation. “I am taking control of my life now. I will look after me and give myself what I need. I am angry about the way I have been treated in the past. The past can’t be changed. My future will be different because I am taking control now.”

Feel any tension in my body, contract muscles and then let them relax. Shaking can help.

You can get through this!


I hope this can help and I agree with Fuzzy. There may be a good therapist that would help.


Much respect and kind thoughts to you