After several months of sporadically adding a third session as our schedules allowed, my therapist and I finally found a standing weekly slot for a third appointment, and it feels like a much bigger deal than I thought it would--maybe something about seeing all those appointments stretching out for months on my calendar, maybe I'm just feeling weird about being someone who goes to therapy this much every week (even though I think it's a good idea and I've been going three times a week about half the time since February or March). Either way, yikes.

My therapist did specifically say he thinks this is going to heighten my general ambivalence about therapy, and increase the ways that ambivalence shows up in the transference. Which is interesting and terrifying at the same time. Therapy is so bizarre. How is it possible to be this eager about something and this put off by it all at once?