I am going downhill pretty fast. Major depression hit today and it's completely debilitating. I am in a marriage that may have been a big mistake. I cannot help but feel that this will end in me harming myself at some point instead of a divorce. I am not leaving him... not right now. I am feeling things out. But I have not been this low in years. But please don't tell me to call a hotline, I know you may mean well, but it won't help me. I do not have a plan and I am not in any imminent danger. I am just talking out my feelings, and that is how I am feeling right now. I've been here before and have survived... a few times. I blame mainly myself. I feel so very low and so very alone.