Quote:
Originally Posted by OKbrain
The pattern I tend to fall into mimics my dad's body language and attitude when he was interacting with my mom. Exasperated, overwhelmed, never had his own opinion, anxious. He was never mean but also never seemed relaxed or happy around her. His communication was along the lines of "ok, fine. I dont care, whatever you want." He would relax and be happy when he was out around friends but at home, he seemed miserable. This is similar to the way I behave.
I have been seeing a therapist for a few months. She has been disproportionately focused (in my opinion) on my drinking. I agree that I should cut back or quit drinking and it is not helping my depression but it would hardly solve my issues. I'm looking forward to getting into more discussion about my relationship.
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I don't know how much you drink or your drinking habits but your therapist seems to be looking at things from the wrong way around. You likely drink because you are depressed and/or traumatized. Therefore, therapy needs to first target the trauma and the rest will follow. Check out Dr. Gabor Mate (accent over the e) on What is Addiction? or his various videos on depression. Introduce your therapist to his research and ideas. Though I think perhaps you need a new therapist. Her approach is somewhat like spending hours convincing a hemophiliac to invest in band-aids rather than addressing blood clotting factors, if you see what I mean.
If you want to focus more on your relationship then either insist on that or cut ties and start over with a new therapist. They are not all created equal. Far from it. Best wishes to you
