Thank you for your encouraging words MickeyCheeky.

And yes, I was 17 at the time those incidents took place. I've seen a youth psychiatrist for my depression that had worsened because of said incidents but I've never addressed it to such length as I've done on this forum. To me, seeing a therapy only helps temporarily but it was not as effective as I would like it to be, maybe because I didn't address the issue in detail but just as friends quarrelling. I just didn't want to do anything about the drama anymore as it had caused so much pain for me, and I just wanted to let it go even though there was no closure. I'm not sure whether I'm just feeling the guilt of the things I've done, or mad at how the friendship crumbled through the hands of manipulative people, or we just had our own problems that would've resulted in the same conclusion. But I've felt better after talking about this at full length. And thank you again for the love and support And honestly, I hope my past friends will open their eyes one day and have good support from people around them to help, but I know I won't be one of those support as I've already closed off my humane side to them for the time being. It was my way to get my sanity back.

Now I just really want to move forward with my life finally after fearing for social interaction or the fear that nothing will change. I want to get my life back and let go of the past.