I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Makmad1! I certainly understand why you'd feel hurt! I completely agree with what sarahsweets has already wisely said better than I ever could! I do feel like it's necessary to talk to your husban about ALL OF THIS and see how it goes from there and make him understand that you feel hurt by his behavior! Hopefully he'll listen to what you have to say and understand what you mean! I'd say it's up to YOU what you want to do now! Do you feel like continuing this relationship would be an option for you? Do you believe couple counselling may be helpful to BOTH OF YOU? Definitely discuss ALL OF THIS with your husband if you can and want to! Take your time to decide! I know it's not easy AT ALL! I'm so sorry you're going through ALL OF THIS! I know it's hard! Remember that we're here for you if you need ANY KIND OF SUPPORT! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many kind, safe, sweet, warm and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU, MAKMAD1!