You're certainly going through a lot, Matsu! I'm so sorry that you're hurting SO MUCH! I'm so sorry you're not getting the support that you NEED AND DESERVE RIGHT NOW! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and new ways to cope with your feelings! It would certainly be helpful to help you cope with your Depression! PLEASE DO CONSIDER IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OF COURSE! I hope things will get better soon! Please keep us updated AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IF YOU CAN AND WANT TO, OK? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Remember that we're here for you if you need ANY KIND OF SUPPORT or even if you simply need someone to LISTEN to what you're saying! THAT'S A PROMISE! REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE A STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! THAT'S A PROMISE! THAT'S TRUE! REMEMBER TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! I hope things will get better soon for you and that you'll be able to get the help that YOU NEED AND DESERVE BECAUSE YOU TRULY DO DESERVE IT! THAT'S A PROMISE! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR JOURNEY! SENDING MANY AWESOME, KIND, SAFE, SWEET, WARM AND WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU, MATSU, JUST LIKE YOU ARE! PLEASE BELIEVE ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE AND PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE!