For example, I'm searching for friends who have a depth of life experience and who work at calmness in the face of challenges. Being with people like that makes me feel deeply nurtured. BUT I have deep life experiences myself that I don't own properly, AND I need to be more committed to working at staying calm. It is really a task for me to commit to that growth path for myself, but I'm starting to realise that I will only get what I want from other people if I walk my own path towards achieving that.

I don't want more superficial friends - they can come and go as much as they want to do. I want people who nod thoughtfully, instead of repeating the first thing that comes into their heads.

Personally I don't any more think that it's possible to make good friendships by expecting something to land in my lap. It's about finding qualities that I need internally, and prioritising the side of me that commits to that instead of the side of me that wants to escape from life. I need to be the friend that I would like to have....