Thanks, Lemon, Kiya, McKell, and Junerain.
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Lemon wrote:
I'm hoping deciding some of these parenting issues means you'll be able to file soon
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">We should be able to file very soon and then it is 3 months before it can become final.
I really don't know about the porn, the anger, etc. and how serious it is for my girls. How do you decide? I have professionals to consult on this so that I don't have to be the social worker myself--they are the trained experts so they should know. But l have felt there is no clear dividing line. My T states they have decided it is not necessary to call CPS about any of this, so that is good. Is that enough? He says he doesn't know the answer to that question. I don't either. I asked him several times last session. "Good question, I don't know," he kept answering. How am I supposed to decide?
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mckell13 wrote:
What was the end result, a daughter who witnessed this, and inadvertently ended repeating the cycle.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I know McKell, that is very depressing to me. By being such a wimp, I model that behavior to my girls. I hate it. A few times one of my daughters has said to me, perhaps in response to what she perceives as my not being strong, "you don't have to do what Dad says anymore!" I feel so bad when I hear that, like her experience of our marriage was me being a doormat for him.
But she has told one of our professionals that "when Dad got mad, Mom would protect us," so I feel like at least she saw me doing some good.
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mckell13 wrote:
Sunrise, your gut was telling you that the jackass on your "team" needed to go. If you've stood up for yourself on this issue you can do it again.
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Yes, I feel so good about this. It is truly a triumph for me. A huge weight lifted off my back and I did it myself. So, yeah, maybe I can do other things too....
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mcKell13 wrote:
As for the divorce manual. Keep all these post, your writing one :-)
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I have thought of writing a book on divorce, because I have looked for a very specific book on divorce out there, that covers specific issues, and it does not seem to exist. If I am looking for it and wanting it, maybe there are others too who would benefit. This is something I would like to talk to my T about some day, when the forest fires are out, as he has said to me before that he is thinking of writing a book on divorce. I would like to talk about our ideas for books.
Junerain, thanks for your book suggestion. I think those meditations might be useful to me.
Today is a sunny day.