I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, MechaNech! I completely agree with what sarahsweets and Skeezyks have already wisely suggested to you! I'm not sure if you'll get the kind of "closure" that you expect by talking to her about AL OF THIS! I completely agree with sarahsweets about seeing a therapist! Do you see one? Maybe that could help! You coule learn new things and new ways to cope with your feelings as you're going through a divorce which is NEVER easy! I wish I've had more advice to give to you! I can only suggest to look up, move forward the best way you can and to not focus too much on what happened, the what ifs and what could have happened and your past mistakes if there were ant! We can't change our past but WE CAN CHANGE OUR FUTURE! I hope that will be helpful to you! Make it your mantra! I sincerely hope that you'll happiness and joy after ALL OF THIS WILL BE OVER! It won't be easy to tell your kids but please remember that you probably did the best thing for them if the marriage just wasn't going strong! You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR KIDS, MECHANECH, JUST LIKE YOU ALL ARE!