Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Many times, when I have posted things about my husband, it became obvious that he was following my threads. If you spend a lot of time together with your husband and on this website, the same thing may happen to you. Relationships are fluid and complex plus, even though we are "anonymous" on here, perhaps we are not. My POV is that you and I are so open that IRL who know us, if they were to run across our threads, would know us by our story, therefore, posting intimate details about our lives is not anonymous. Take care of yourself Golden Eve, I understand what it is like to love a person who can also be very challenging. The thing is, I can also be very challenging to deal with.