Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
It’s absolutely passive aggressive. No doubt about it. It’s not your perception.
Subtle difference between sincere: “I am sorry, I behaved badly. I wish we could remain friends but I understand that I hurt you too much by my selfish actions.” That would be direct approach. The way he went about is passive aggressive manipulative way. He also managed to play a victim and blame others for the fact that he rudely stands people up! Unbelievable
He didn’t feel guilty because he simply isn’t a nice person. There are some people who simply aren’t nice. They could appear nice initially because they know how to pretend very well, but they show true colors eventually. Luckily this dude show his nature early on and you didn’t get too invested
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Thank you for confirming what I knew was correct -- that his response was totally passive aggressive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
I was not talking about this particular guy, he was rude to you for not showing up or appologizing. I was just saying that when someone gives you the choice to unfriend them etc., it's not the same as this guy who is a jerk.
When reading all these articles about naricissists and toxic people etc., it can be easy to start thinking that anyone who says certain things or acts similar to what is described is automatically a bad person. There is really no such thing as a perfect person and people can have some behaviors that are not all that desireable or are imperfect, yet that doesn't always mean they are a totally bad person.
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Could you give me an example of what you meant, then? I have never been "given a choice to unfriend" anyone. I think that when people like this guy say that, it's very passive-aggressive and reeks of manipulation and abuse.
So, I need a concrete scenario from you, of what you mean, when you say that when someone tells you its fine if you don't want to be their friend, that doesn't indicate they are a bad person. I am trying to understand where you're coming from, but from where I stand, that doesn't make sense to me at all.
No one who is mature and responsible, would tell another person how to feel. No one. They would allow the other person to express themselves and not tell them they are wrong for expressing themselves.